Rob Cheng's Blog

Why Do We Stop?

I have a dear friend that is dying of cancer. He is still with us but I don’t believe that he has much time left on this earth. We have been talking on the phone frequently and one time he shared with me two things. ONE – He stopped having sex 6 months ago and TWO – He was still chain smoking. I found the topic fascinating and it really made me wonder, when do we stop doing the things we enjoy?

My grandmother died when she was 107 years old. Some time before she turned 100, she stopped playing bridge. She said that it made her think too hard for someone her age. She loved playing bridge and it puzzles me to this day.

I have another dear friend (still in the living) that was an avid golfer. Around the time that he turned 60, he stopped. That was 5 years ago, and he has not played since.

This got me thinking about my life and also “Why do we stop doing the things we love?”. Is stopping a sign that your life is running out of energy for certain pursuits? Or is it the opposite? Are you saving energy as you grow older by giving up these pursuits? I have no idea.

I love to run. It is a passion for me, almost an addiction. The reason is because it makes me feel good. About 15 minutes into the run, the endorphins kick in and the rest of the run is like a beautiful dream. I am relaxed. I am in harmony with my body and nature. I am mostly just lost in my thoughts. Those thoughts quite often will drive my direction for the day or more. I know that running is also a physically demanding pursuit and I wonder, will there be a time when I must stop. How will I know when I should stop? Either way, I know that my life will not be the same if I don’t run.

I also love to read. It is like tickling my brain or scratching an itch. It is a different feeling than running but it is relaxing and helps me sleep at night. I imagine that I will continue to read until the very end. It is not physically demanding, only mentally. But who knows? Not I.

I also play guitar. It is a peaceful pursuit and personally rewarding. I have been playing for over 30 years and honestly, I am only so-so. There are probably millions of guitar players better than me. It is rewarding when you feel like you have improved a little iota. It is rewarding to figure out a song that you never could touch before. Just to get a little better each time you play. I guess one day I will stop when I feel that I can no longer improve any more. There is so much room for improvement but I have reached a point where my lack of talent will not allow me to improve any more. I hope it doesn’t happen any time soon. Sometimes, it just makes me happy.

So I am just wondering out loud. What makes us stop? I used to drink beer every day and at one time in my left I was addicted to nicotine and cigarettes. These are two things that I have stopped because I knew they were unsustainable activities. They were doing more harm than good. But then, why do we stop doing the things that are good for us? The things that keep us challenged or motivated? What do we stop? I really don’t know. Leave a comment below.

Send Me an Angel

I wrote this song shortly after leaving Gateway. I was in my new house in Myrtle Beach pounding beers and hammering on my guitar. That was seven years ago, and now I am married to a truly fantastic woman. After so long, I finally found my angel. Next Tom took the song, and it now has a 50’s retro country type of sound to it.

A 
Lord I know you've heard my prayers 
D              A 
Each and every night 
A 
And I know I've heard your voice saying      
E 
everything's all right 
A 
Lord I know you're watching me 
D                    A 
And all the things I need 
A                     D 
But there's still one thing 
   B7             E 
To make it all complete      
A                       D 
Send me an angel, straight from up above 
A                                                E 
Let me feel your soothing grace and shower me with love 
A                    D 
Send me an angel, to sing my harmonies 
A                          E 
Send me an angel made especially for me

Singing straight from the heart
I want the old life to come to an end
And another one to start

 

(bridge)

I look all around me

I see couples holding hands

Oh, how I want someone too

I know You'll understand

 

(double chorus)

Tale of Three Churches

Solange and I try to go to church once a week, but to be honest it’s been a chore because we have had nothing but bad and bizarre church experiences in 2007. One weird event after another. Sometimes, it makes you wonder whether it is all worthwhile. Here’s a tale of three churches.

Saint Andrews Catholic Church, Myrtle Beach, SC. Solange was born and raised a Catholic. It was a pleasant surprise that they have a Brazilian Catholic church in Myrtle Beach. We went to check it out, and the church was new, big and clean. Plus, everyone was from Brazil and spoke portuguese. It helped Solange make the adjustment to the United States.

One night we were driving back from mass, and Solange asked me whether I was listening to the sermon. Honestly, I usually space out the portuguese sermon. She explained to me that the Padre was railing on Americans. The sermon was that Americans are arrogant and selfish. Pretty strange thing to say to a group of Brazilians living in the US.

Up to that point, I had been giving generously to the church, but given this sermon, I decided to cut way back. About a month later, the padre gave a very different sermon. He explained that the church was really struggling financially now, and that everyone needed to contribute. It all seems ironic now.

Myrtle Beach Community Church. This is the largest church in Myrtle Beach and I have been attending for over 6 years. The church has been undergoing a major change in leadership and the main pastor moved to a new guy. His preaching style is much different than what I had been used to. I can give an example.

He was preaching that people were essentially one of two colors, red or yellow. He had two large stage spotlights, one red and the other yellow. But he argued that God did not want any of us to be red or yellow, but He wants us to be orange. At this point, the two spotlights come together, and the two colors unite to become orange. Now, he starts getting excited and waving his hands. “God wants us to be orange. Make a promise to yourself to no longer be red or yellow. God loves orange. Bright, bright orange.”

My head was reeling. Many of his sermons made no sense to me. As I already documented here, I went to jail trying to get some medical records. Guess what color are the prison uniforms? ORANGE. Now when I think of jail, I think of Myrtle Beach Community Church.

Catholic Mass, Rio de Janeiro. Just like at Myrtle Beach Community Church, our Catholic church in Rio is undergoing a change in leadership. We decided in December 2007 to have Teddy baptized. In order to do a Catholic baptism, the parents, the godmother and the godfather must go through a short half day course on baptism. Teddy’s godmother is Solange’s mother, and his godfather is Augusto Matos, my good friend here in Brazil.

We woke up early and attend the class. During the class, Augusto decided to be baptized also. He shared his wish with the teachers of the class, and they were excited, as was Solange and I. Catholic rules were just that Augusto had to be baptized before Teddy. Cool.

The class continued, and suddenly the head padre ran into the room nervously. He explained to the class, that he has been advised of a situation. He had an enormous key chain, and he jangled it nervously as he spoke. Now that he was in charge, it would now be a requirement that if over the age of 16 years old, one had to complete a one year course to be baptized. This was all happening quickly and in portuguese.

My gut said that something was wrong and I confirmed that Augusto could no longer be the godfather and Teddy could not be baptized. We also confirmed that prior to this event, it was common for a godfather to request to be baptized. Furthermore, all the other Catholic churches in Rio would allow a baptism without a one year course.

We decided to baptize Teddy anyways, and Augusto attended but is not the godfather in the eyes of God. But in my eyes, he is the godfather.

Cruising with the Lord

I remember the year well. It was 1998, and I had just gone through a messy break up. But I was in great spirits. I had just bought a brand new Toyota Supra. It was a great looking car for its time. It was a beautiful day and I started going to a new church in Austin TX. I was in great spirits and this song popped into my head.

G                 C
Going down life's lonely roads
     G           D
It's easy to get lost
G  D
At times
     C              G
I've got my signals crossed


G             C
So I stop and wonder
   G                  D
In which direction to go
G       D
My eyes closed
    C       G
I'm sure to know


    G        C        D
I'm cruising with the Lord
   G          D    C
He takes me by the hand
G        C        D
Cruising with the Lord
      G            D        C
We're going to the promised land



G              C
I was lost but now I'm found
    G               D
His grace abides in me
G       D
Finally found
 C                 G
A love that sets me free


G          C
Free as an eagle
   G                D
To soar where I may roam
G            D
Where ever I go
    C      G
I'm never alone


    G             C   D
I'm cruising with the Lord
   G        D      C
He takes me by the hand
G             C   D
Cruising with the Lord
      G            D        C
We're going to the promised land