Rob Cheng's Blog

Letter from my Grandmother

My grandmother is the most incredible person that I know. As of this writing, she is now 104 years old, and she was close to 90 when she wrote this letter. She was always trying to set me up with some girl. I hope that I am still doing matchmaking when I am 90 years old.

May 6, 1992

Dear Robert,

When I came back from Honolulu, I received a letter from Mrs. Francis Chen. She included a letter from Dr Fan, father of Quang Xi Fan. The father reported that Miss Fan has a change of address. Dr. Fan and Mrs. Francis Chen are both anxious that you get in touch with Miss Fan. The letter must have arrived in the early part of my trip. Today I received another letter from Mrs. Chen. She was anxious to know whether I received the first letter about the change of address and phone. I thought of phoning you tonight, but since you are so busy, I decided to mail you the new telephone number.

I had a wonderful time in Hawaii. Lin-Hua treated me royally. She gave two dinner parties at home and entertained me twice twice in restaurants. Some Yuaching alumnis also gave me a party in a Chinese restaurant. Li-hua also took me out a few times for sight seeing.

It has been quiet inside Village Green but many stores on LaBrea were looted and burned. The worst part was the burning of Security Pacific bank. A day before I left for Hawaii. I took some of the jewelry and bank books and put them in my safe deposit box. I phoned the branch of Security Pacific early this morning and they said that the safe deposit boxes are now transfered to Westchester branch. I have to find a driver and then make an appointment to examine my boxes. Tomorrow, I must go to USC from some business and deposit some money in USC branch so that I can pay some bills. I hope they will have another branch in our neighborhood. ? is the only branch within walking distance.

I miss seeing you and also miss your phone calls. You were much closer to us when you worked for Texas Instruments. Hope you will have time to give me a ring soon. Please take good care of yourself. You are still very precious to me.

Love

Grandma

Huang Chen is going to take me to the cemetery early tomorrow morning. It was a year ago that Grandpa left us.

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All’s Well that Ends Well

It was truly one crazy day at hospital for the birth of my first son, Teddy Cheng.

We went into the hospital at 11 pm on 7/2/2007. As soon as we go into the hospital, they assign a doctor to us, and they give us Dr. Forbes. I say “What?” Both Solange and I are surprised because we had been going to a place called the Women’s Wellness Clinic, and had been seeing three different female doctors, with the promise that one of them would be at the hospital during the delivery. The attending nurse goes on to explain that all three of doctors had recently left the state. Wow. Things just keep getting weirder.

We meet with Dr. Forbes, and he seems like an OK guy but there is an air of strangeness since we were expecting someone else. He then breaks Solange’s water and we are in business. About an hour later, a nurse comes in with a big bag of antibiotics. I say “What?” They proceed to explain that Solange had some blood work for strep, and there is no record that the results came back. So they were going to assume that she had it. But it gets better.

It is now 6 am and Solange has been pushing for over 2 hours without result. Note: Doctor Forbes was not present during all of this time just the nurse. Solange is getting tired, as am I. Then the door bolts open and one of the doctors from the Woman’s Wellness Center appears quickly putting on a gown. “I’m here!”, she announces. I get a weird sensation because of all the doctors at the clinic, she was by far the worst.

But stranger yet, the nurses just totally ignore her. They don’t answer the doctor’s questions nor do they respond to her commands. Then the doctor from the clinic disappears. I ask her what was going on. The nurse replies “She is not a doctor.” Now it is totally weird! In the last 4-5 visits to the clinic, it was always the same woman doctor, and now we learn that she was not even a doctor. But my head is reeling.

All this time, Solange is pushing and pushing and she is getting tired. Then it is shift change for the nurse and she leaves. Then the other woman (who we previously thought was a doctor) left. It was just me and Solange pushing. Now all weird thoughts are going through my head. What if the baby is born now? What would I do? I just hung in there and helped her push and jammed her knees to her chest.

It is going on 3 hours, and the next shift nurse comes in and says that it is taking too long. She is thinking ceasarean. Now I’m getting mad. Solange nor I wanted a ceasarean. I demanded to see the real doctor. They told me that they could not find him. I told them to go find him.

After some time, he finally arrived. He said that he had a little vacuum device that would help. It was just a little battery operated thing. Within 10 minutes the baby was out. Tears started streaming uncontrollably down my face. Solange too. After all the weirdness and stupidity, everything turned out fine. God Bless.

Here is the link of the photos Though it sounds cliche, all’s well that ends well.

One thought on “All’s Well that Ends Well

  1. Dad,

    One of the greatest words you’ll ever hear. Congratulations Rob from Angie and I. I was fun to find your site and see some of those old pictures.

    Continued success & blessings. Rob

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Lay It Down

I wrote this song while thinking of many of my friends that still work at my ex company Gateway Computer. To be honest, they are struggling right now. My friends in South Dakota are frustrated for change but at the same time, it is hard to change the negative inertia. So rather than be frustrated, they should Lay It Down.

It’s been a while since I had written a full song and this one just popped out in March of this year.

Lay it down

Intro 
A C G A

Verse
Em
I didn't ask to be in the place
Am
And nothing is the same
Em
So many people I don't like
C                    Am                     
But I got no time to complain

So much same old same old
No one's trying anything new
We're not judged on what we say
just on what we do

D
Time's run out for talking
C
This ship's got to turn around
C
It's hard when everyone's watching, 
A            C   G  A
But I got to Lay it down.


Refrain
A        C   G  A
I got to lay it down
C                A
Judgment time is near
A        C   G  A
I got to lay it down
D                E
And put aside my fears

D
I'm not going to leave this place
C
without ever making a sound
C
Now more than ever
A            C   G  A
It's time to lay it down.

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I Just Want To Be There

I wrote this song back in the mid 1980’s. The songs lyrics are about my grandfather, Theodore Chen, who was of failing health but he had not yet passed away. On this web site somewhere is a version of me playing the song on my guitar. Since I know my limitations, I asked a friend of mine to rearrange the song, and also give it professional production values. I think it turned out great. More to come. I am hoping that we can work together to redo all of my songs. Here’s the first one.

D              A    E
People running all around this world
D         A      E 
Trying to make a dime
D      A           E
I just wish they'd open their eyes
D         A      E
Like I've opened mine
A                        D
Sitting here knocking on heaven's door
A                       E
Waiting for the Lord to come
A              D
I just want to be there Lord
D      A   E
To see the Son


   D           A    E
My grandfather is a great great man
         D         A      E
But he's getting a little old
D      A       E
I just need to love him more
       D   A     E
As the age takes hold

      A                  D
Cause one day soon he'll leave this world
  A                E
I pray it won't be long
A              D
I just want to be there Lord
         D    A   E
When you make him strong


D              A    E
People running all around this world
D         A      E 
Trying to make a dime
D      A           E
I just wish they'd open their eyes
D         A      E
Like I've opened mine

A                        D
Sitting here knocking on heaven's door
A                       E
Waiting for the Lord to come
A              D
I just want to be there Lord
D      A   E
To see the Son


D                A         E
Let me tell you about this boss of mine
D          A       E
Making our lives a hell
D           A    E
Sometimes I just have to laugh
   D    A  E
He does it well
    A                   D
But one day there'll be judgement day
A                       E
Looking the Lord in the face
A              D
I just want to be there Lord
        D      A   E
When he pleads his case


D              A    E
People running all around this world
D         A      E 
Trying to make a dime
D      A           E
I just wish they'd open their eyes
D         A      E
Like I've opened mine


A                        D
Sitting here knocking on heaven's door
A                       E
Waiting for the Lord to come
A              D
I just want to be there Lord
D      A   E
To see the Son

One thought on “I Just Want To Be There

  1. I read your piece on the gay pride parade there in Brazil, and then read things like this in your “religion” section. I’m sorry, but I can’t figure out what bible your reading from. On one hand you want to see the Son, but on the other hand you think it’s ok for a man to insert his penis into another man’s mouth or rectum for enjoyment, and promote it if that’s what they want to do. I’m not sure how the pieces of your puzzle fit together. I’m not judging, just really confused. You obviously have a real grip on the gospel, so, who in this whole scenerio is going to see the Son?

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My Ordeal with the American Consulate

It has been close to a year since this happened, but I found some of the letters that I sent to a few lawyers regarding my and Solange’s experience with the American Consulate. After the event, I sent this letter to several lawyers for help. No help was forthcoming, although their fees were growing. I finally ignored all of the lawyers advice and got Solange a tourist visa on my own.

September 11, 2006
A Day I’ll Never Forget

It all started in July 2006. I was with some friends in Sao Paulo, Brazil, and I wound up in the hospital in a coma. I had a severely broken arm, pneumonia, a concussion, amnesia, and I could no longer talk. Stranger yet, no one knew how all of this happened. My mother and my brother flew down from the United States to bring me back to the US. Once I returned, I gradually recovered but I realized that my recuperation would be a long one. I believed that I needed my fiancée with me immediately. I met Carol Armstrong from Senator Elizabeth Dole’s office and she tried to help me get Solange (my fiancée) an emergency visa. After two weeks of wrangling with the American Consulate, she was rudely denied.

I decided to return to the Brazil. This was not an easy decision because I would rather talk to doctors that speak English, but on the other hand, I needed someone to take care of me as I recovered. Plus I missed Solange. So I returned back to Brazil and on August 30th, and Solange and I married in a small civil ceremony in Rio de Janeiro.

All along, I had been talking to Carol Armstrong about the next steps to get Solange a visa to enter the United States. In addition, a friend of mine works for a huge law firm called Holland and Knight, and he began giving me advice. The advice was the same. The quickest route was to work with the American Consulate in Brazil, and to convince them that I live in Brazil.

I called the consulate and scheduled an appointment for September 11, and Solange and I got to work. We began compiling all of my financial records as evidence of how much money I was spending in Brazil. We created a history of every telephone call and telephone number I had called and received from my Brazilian telephone numbers. We had the deed to my apartment and of course my passport. In addition, we filled out the forms for the green card process. Solange also took all of the medical exams necessary for entrance into the United States. We worked for two solid weeks to get everything done,. we had filled out all of the forms perfectly, and put together an open-and-shut case that proved that I live in Brazil.

Despite all of the preparation, we woke on September 11, 2006 with nervous anticipation. It was a beautiful sunny day, which we both hoped was a good omen of things to happen. We jumped into a taxi and the cabby was half asleep. He got lost and kept falling asleep at the wheel. Although we left with tons of time to spare, Solange was becoming nervous that we would be late for the appointment. Fortunately, the driver woke up and we arrived at 1 pm on the dot.

We got to the front of the line, and we quickly gave the embassy guard our names. She looked through her list three or four times, and said “You don’t have an appointment today.” I told her (in Portuguese) that it was impossible that I could mistake September 11 for some other day. I asked whether there was someone to whom I could complain. She looked at me apologetically but she still said no.

We were thunder struck. After all the work, all the planning, the problems with my health, and now we couldn’t even talk to the Consulate. The guard suggested that we call the Consulate on a pay phone. The Consulate has a rule that you cannot enter the Consulate without an appointment, and you cannot make an appointment at the Consulate. So I bought a a 45 minute payphone card for and called the Consulate. I had been through this drill many times, and the wait times were sometimes close to an hour, and I was nervous that we would run out credits on the pay phone. After 30 minutes, thankfully, someone picked up.

The woman explained that I had made a mistake and that I had scheduled the interview for September 8th. I politely explained to her that it was impossible that I would mistake September 11th for some other day. And she politely explained that I was wrong, and that perhaps we could reschedule for a week for now. I was getting mad now, and I explained that I was standing at a pay phone outside of the Consulate and this was not my fault and they should let me in. She put me on hold, and with 5 minutes of credits left, they allowed us to enter the Consulate.

Once we were in the waiting area, our wait was fairly short. We both nervously entered the interview room and closed the door. Our interviewer was blonde, heavy set, tall and with a blue blouse and skirt. Solange guesses her age to be about 35 years old. She asked whether we would prefer to interview in English or Portuguese, and I said English although in less than 30 seconds the interview switched to Portuguese because it was clear that she could not speak English. It certainly made it more difficult for me because she spoke Portuguese very quickly but I was holding my own.

During the interview process, she asked what type of visa I had. I responded that I had a tourist visa but I really lived in Rio de Janeiro. During the entire interview, I tried to have a calm and even tone. She did not. At this point, she went ballistic, and starting yelling at me. She started calling me names including a criminal, stating that I was in Brazil illegally. Although I felt this was not true, I chose not to argue with her, and calmly and slowly tried to show her the reports that we had compiled. This just made matters worse. Each piece of paper I showed just made her angrier. She was so agitated that the security guard came by to see what was happening. I said many times “Stop yelling at me”, and “Please let me talk for a second.” She did not heed either request, and continued to yell and interrupt.

As a last measure, I tried to explain my health problems and how I felt that it would be best if my wife and I could return to the United States. At this point, she was totally disgusted with me and said “That’s your problem not mine.” At that point, she stood up and left.

We both left the interview room shaken. My head was reeling from all the verbal abuse. My gut was stinging from the fact that I chose to repress my feelings to yell back at her. To be clear, at no time did I raise my voice, and never did I provoke her. To be honest, we have no idea why she was so agitated at us. It all seemed like such a waste. We had spent weeks compiling documents and she didn’t look at any of them.

I was ready to go but Solange said that we should stay. At one point, the crazy lady, also known as our interviewer, was yelling that we should see the consulario. I had no idea what this meant, but apparently, it meant that after her verbal thrashing, we would talk to her boss. We waited about an hour, and then our name was paged and we were brought to a different interview room.

The next lady had black hair, petite, and slightly older, let’s say late 40’s and early 50’s. She sat down, and immediately was more pleasant than the yelling woman. She spoke perfect English, and it was clear that she was an American. I did not revisit our prior ugly experience, and chose to focus on the facts related to Solange’s visa application. She listened but explained that it was illegal for her to accept my application. I told her that I had discussed my situation with more than one lawyer in the US and they did not believe it was illegal. Of course, that was a big mistake and put her on the defensive. To her credit, at one point, she left the interview room, and later returned. She then reiterated that it was illegal, and said that I needed to go through the United States Department of Homeland Security. Although she still said No, at least she was not belligerent.

I am writing this a little over three weeks after this horrible day occurred. I am still in Brazil and still hoping that somehow Solange can learn about the United States before we make some of the larger decisions in our lives. A lot of the bitterness and emotion of that day has passed, but there are still two nagging questions in my mind.

1. When we were returning in the taxi from our day of horror, Solange told me that she was treated the same way during her first interview in August. Yelling and lecturing. I fully realize that there are times when our consulate has to say no. That is part of their jobs. However, it serves no purpose to be rude and antagonistic.

2. Perhaps the crux of this issue is who is right? I went to the Consulate based on the advice of more than one lawyer. If the Consulate believed I was under their jurisdiction, they could help me. The American Consulate felt that helping me was illegal. Frankly, it does not make sense that my request is illegal. I am an American citizen needing help. Either way, I believe the government should clear up the confusion, so others can avoid my horrible experience.

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